Africa

Seen In Tanzania: The Tale Of The Sissy Warthog

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It’s a hot day in Tanzania, and you’re enjoying yourself at the neighborhood watering hole.  You’re far from quenching your thirst when you hear a loud rustle in the brush behind you. Reflexively, you run behind a tree, not even bothering to see what caused all the ruckus. You’re sure you’ve narrowly escaped becoming an entrée.

Seconds pass and then you hear slurping. You gather your nerves and decide to peak around the tree to see what’s enjoying the water you just abandoned. You imagine a leopard…..a lion…..a house-sized elephant…. and….it’s….it’s…a…. zebra.  What?!

Yep, that’s right, you gave up your prime position at the mouth of the watering hole for a zebra. How will you ever show your face in the den again? Your tusks are much scarier than anything a zebra’s got going on, yet you ran like a little girl-hog.

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You think, maybe it’s not that bad, the zebra will drink its fill and then leave, no one will have to know what a big sissy you were. You figure you’ll wait it out and pretend it never happened. You wait, and you wait, but the sun beats down and you’re thirst gets the better of you.

You decide you’re going to puff up, flash your tusks, and run that stupid zebra out of Dodge. You may be small but you’re ferocious. Ferocious!

You collect yourself and move out from behind the tree ready to take on the world, but in your haste you forgot that zebra travel in herds. Your adversary has multiplied and now there are nine zebra where one stood moments before. Ack! It’s not fair!

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You decide to confront them – they’re skittish creatures right? They’ll run at the drop of a hat.

READY. SET. GO!

Unfortunately, your hat’s not scary enough. Your plan is an epic failure and they barely give you the time of day. You stop, and facing you are eight striped butts blocking you from your goal. Really? Really?!

You’re left standing there in the dust feeling awkward and embarrassed.

It was going to be a very long day….

 More photos and tales from my time in Tanzania

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